“Listen up!” I called when the last of the women exited the door at the base of the staircase. Waving my arms like a windmill, I motioned for the ladies to gather around. “The chief is checking with Jennifer. I presume she’s getting an update and status report,” I told the news-hungry gathering. “Sheila has asked me to get everyone settled and do an attendance check. Is anyone not here? Martha, can you do the honors?”The terror in the Captain of the Kitchen eyes abated as she focused on the task at hand. Busy people don’t have the luxury of panic. As Martha attended to the women, I assumed a seat on the stone bench and took a moment to gather my wits and clear my mind. I was terrified. Fear can be a useful servant, unlike his kissing cousin, Panic. Fear strengthens the scenes and sharpens the mind. Panic smothers reason, and we flee without purpose.Trembling like an old man, I tapped a smoke out of my pack of cigarettes and flicked my Bic. It sparked to life on the second flick. I. SIin order to combat being made the victim, hehad developed a second hobby, gathering his own information about theproblems that simmered. Over time he had become quite good at predictingthe likelihood of a spark, which had allowed him to know when he couldignore his boss's on-call assignment and properly enjoy the bounty in hiscloset.This was not one of those times.So removing his uniform, he settled for a simple, blue, house dress,ignoring the gorgeous confections in his closet. Then avoiding the mirror,as he did whenever dressed without the benefit of time consuming make-up,he removed himself from the temptations in his bedroom, seeking escape ina book.Escape that remained elusive. Regularly his eyes were drawn to the doorbehind which enjoyment lingered. Constant were the questions, wondering ifhe had misread things, maybe the problems were not as bad as he thought.The reasons behind his decision stretched thinner as excuses about why heshould give in moved to the forefront of his.
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